Rasanya mau mati, mati dan mati.
Segampang bilang mati kaya orang kelaparan bilang "lapar". Yeah
that's what I feel when in condition like this. Capek, capek coy nangis. I've
been used up my tears for thousand time.
NO ONE GETS ME
NO ONE!!
Even my best fuckin friend. Its not what they want. Tapi
emang gue nya aja yg ga mau cerita. Its useless for 'em I think. It can make a
lil spam for them. Yah, dulu sih kalo lg uncontrol emotion biasanya sms smua
member bkkfrs. Tapi sekarang, I'm totally stressed out. Extremely tired of this
all. Rasanya mau cepet cepet mati aja. Gue ga suka sakit hati. It spend my
awesome time. Nooooo I'm not talk about boy or lovelife. EUWWW. Hari gini
ngomongin cinta dan patah hati? Its not really just like meee babe, it sooo
2000 and late. Air mata gue terlalu tidak sudi untuk keluar demi masalah cowok.
Masih banyak yg gue urusin, and its so much better than it. Well, what am I
talking bout so far? Yeah, My Mom. Perempuan yang gue paling sayang di dunia
ini slalu aja bikin gue jadi "weak girl". The only one reason.. My
character is same with my mom. Fire facing fire. DOUBLE FIRE, BIG FIRE. Leher
gue rasanya udah berapa kali kecekik nahan nangis. I'm crying and just not
realized with my age. I'm too child and too weak to cry over this. But this is
me. No one can changes me unless me. Everyone borns with character, and this is
my character.
I HATE MISS COMMUNICATION
And this is I hate the most after the "defamation"
Niat nya baik eh jadi dianggap sebaliknya. Huuhhh how it
hurts so deep.
God, please..
Y SHOULD BE MY MOM?!
Kenapa orang yang gue sayang yg buat gue kaya gini? Kalo
orang lain mungkin gampang sih. And I'm the type of person who rather to run
away from trouble than solve it. SOLVING? Lo kira gampang segampang ngomong seenak
jidatlo? Hell yeaaa TROUBLE HAS NO LIMIT. IT LAST FOREVER DURING THE BIATCHS
AND FUCKIN DEVILS STILL ALIVE. And solving problem make it bigger than
first. Walaupun status nya udah "problem solved" dendam dan karma
masih ada HEHE. Well, first option ini bakal trus gue terapkan. Kenapa? Karena
menjauhi orang yg trouble maker itu lebih baik. Forgive them? Yeah, of course.
But sorry we're never being close as close as used to. Tadi gue bicara tentang
teman atau orang lain. Tapi ini nyokap gue bro, orang yang ngelahirin gue. Masa
gue mau run away? Gila aja. My brain isn't small as it. How about... Bunuh
diri? Yah pernah kepikiran begitu. But like I just said, gini gini gue masih
punya iman kuat. Tapi jujur gue pernah nyilet lengan sih. Tapi ga dalam dalam
amat. It helps me? Not too much. Cuma sok gaul dan emang rasanya sedikit aneh
tp yaah my mind is better than before. Tapi kalo mikir buat kaya gini lagi
bener bener deh, my lifes too short even my mind is shorteeeerrrr to do this.
Meskipun gue tau masih banyak hal yang menyenangkan diluar sanaaa~ yah tapi
paling 45%. Sisanya? Life Poor, tired, overthinking, brokenhearted, working hard, stressed out mind etc.
At
least, gue bakal survey kaya gini. Disagree? Think again. 100% happiness isn't
here! Its over there at unknown place. It called "PARADISE" and
you'll be last forever there. Earth just a life's test paper. How much score u
get is where u place will be. Paradise's class or hell's class? Its all back to
ur self how score u get. Make it up up up!
Okay. My mind is overload nowwww. Gue ga tau selanjutnya mau
ngapain. Gue masih "let it flow" aja, until I found that 45%.
Typed with a litre tears..
Fenty ♥
*no copas plz, it written by maself